super rad...

hey thanks for the letters! Super thanks for the cool superman card that sings. double super wowzah thanks for the candy! my roommates were salivating as i opened it. we had a little, then i put the rest in the safe, because, right now, that is my most valuable commodity. oh, and my teachers thought the superman wallet was AWESOME! Of course, they said "LEGAL!" , but it is the same.

today we went to the sao paulo temple, and it was so BEAUTIFUL! really. the reason that we would go to the campinas temple before was that there are SO MANY missionaries going to the temple on tuesday and wednesday (the days americans have p-day) that we split up and went to two different temples. usually i get some time to write letters on the bus, but this week the ride was short, and our bus driver was always kicking the brake instead of the clutch, or at least it seemed that way. just a REALLY rough, bumpy, and wild ride. so sorry, no other letters going out this week. i'll try my best to answer most of your questions in THIS letter. BUT first, something funny:

today we went to a RONDIZIO(?) restaurant for lunch as a district, with our teacher and his wife. you know, the kind of place where they walk around with meat on these big spits and forks and they slice, all juicy and delicious, on to your plate! NOSSA! it was good! (by the way, NOSSA, is an exclamation that refers to the mother mary in some vague way. it means, more or less, WOWZERS!. just wanted to let jay know, that I KNEW! pretty cool.) SO, we ate and ate, and probably have worms, drank the MOST DELICIOUS fruit juice, and here is the weird part, we ate tons of chicken hearts. i alone am responsible for the death of at least 6 chickens. they were kind of squishy, but we choked them down as a sign of manhood. also, the cow stomach was terrible. it was like salty, textured, bubble-gum consistency, weirdness. we also took that as a sign of manhood. so, now i am a man. in the end it was worth the 10 reias we paid for it! SO CHEAP! it beat the heck out of the CTM food. it will be hard to go back to it tonight. (mostly because i am SO INCREDIBLY FULL).

jen always sends me jokes, and the guys really appreciate them, because we have already told each other all of ours, so new ones break the monotony. so here is two back for you guys, one in english, one in portugueses (kind of): what is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------a pool table! que faz um pech em agua? (SORRY, i don’t really remember the joke in portuguese, maybe jay and elle can tell you how to spell/say it. What it SHOULD say is: what does a fish do in the water?)-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NADA! get it?!... nada as in 'nothing' or nada as in "it swims"? no?! well, i didn’t think it was very funny at first either, BUT if you try to say in portuguese to a brazilian here, THEY WILL DIE LAUGHING! i don’t know why... maybe because of my accent or because i am saying it wrong,... all i know is that i have a career here after my mission in stand-up if i don’t get better at the joke telling language. [smile]

just so everyone knows... i am doing great with portuguese. i can usually fairly easily read jay and elles letters, and every wednesday i speak nothing BUT portuguese. the things that i am struggling with is: 1. people that talk too fast. i can only pick up the occasional phrases, enough to know the subject and how the feel about what they are talking about usually. and 2. my language is limited because i am still working fluidly. i mean, i do really well sometimes, but sometimes when i am thinking of what i want to say, and then how to say it with my vocabulary, i pause a lot. This last week we went and did TRC. it was stressful. the video was painful to watch afterward. I already knew that we did bad WHILE we were giving the lesson, but then they made us watch it and then TOLD us we 'did good, BUT...' ! so we are improving. we gave the same lesson in the language training room last night to the instructor there, and we did SO MUCH BETTER! really, I wish that it had gone like that in the TRC, but as i said, we were nervous being on tape and all. ( i am not really sure what TRC stands for, but they have one that is HUGE at the Provo mtc, i am sure someone knows).

mom, yes i shave everyday. in fact, sometimes twice a day, if i go back to the room in the middle of the day. i usually use the electric razor, but sometimes i feel like i just have to knock it down smooth. IT GROWS SO FAST.! i am really rough by the end of the day. also, just so you know, i brush my teeth everyday as well, i also take a shower everyday. i only do laundry about once every week and a half, but i DO do it. Sorry out of time... i will try to answer a few more on pen and paper and try to get it mission-tied back to you today.
PAZ FORA, elder helland

Rest of letter he sent on “Mission Ties”:

To Everyone:

Because I don’t have time to write everyone, or anyone for that matter, I’ll answer some of the questions here:

For Ken: Yes, it is a different season here, but no it is NOT winter. They call it “inverno” which translates to winter, but it is more like “Inferno” cause it is crazy hot here! Portuguese is great, I am picking it up well I think (Eu acho que sim). It is tough getting used to all the accents [he wrote them all out for you but I can’t type them in]. All of the accents go over vowels – there are a lot of complicated rules associated with them. Thanks for the pic. I told everyone I got a picture from my girlfriend – they were disappointed when they saw the picture and my “girlfriend” had a beard! Well, I like it anyway! Keep writing!

Grandma Jones: We eat a lot of beans. Some are black and some are brown. They are all good. Usually I put them on a heap of white rice. That is about all there is to lunch and dinner ‘round here. Good luck with the contracts and stuff!

Madi: Good luck Freshman!

Jocy: I can’t believe you drove! That is a long way! I hear Madi has been riding with Alyce! Well, have fun with Mrs. Miller. She was awesome!

Jen: Sorry I can’t write you a full letter because you are my main-mailer! (Aunt=”Tia”, but it is pronounced “chia”…) I really love your letters. Well, um you didn’t have many questions to answer so just know I love you.

Jay and Elle: Wish I could see my little hulk [Logan]! I emailed about the temple thing… Oh, well to be frank, my “snap” kind of stinks! For the first 2 weeks that’s all I did, but now my wrist hurts and I have slacked off in practicing. Make-no-mistake, there is a pretty good sound when I warm up but still a long way to go.

Gpa & Gma Helland: Grandma, my companion thinks the pocket-bear-thing is so cool! Just wanted you to know, it is there, in my pocket (squeeze, squeeze, squeeze).

Hintons: Thanks for the postcard! From one tropic to another…!

Spencer Johnson – Thanks for the GREAT letter! It really meant a lot to me. Peace out! (Paz Fora!, Caro!)

TO everyone else: Either I haven’t yet received your letter or I answered your questions somewhere else. THANKS FOR ALL THE LETTERS!! Love, Adam